Category Archives: Recipes

I don’t know about you, but I have this hardcore love affair with salt and cooking food. Both are fine in moderation, but I have a tendency to combine the two all day every day.  I don’t mind cooking my eggs and meat just because I like to avoid potential illness from consuming raw meat and eggs (with the exception of sushi and the occasional raw egg or two in my smoothies) but I also cook my vegetables with the meat so it can soak up some of the meat’s flavors (or to make a bitchin’ batch of scrambled eggs). Though I do my best to assure that the vegetables retain most of their color when cooking (ever notice how vegetables tend to lose their color the longer you cook them? It’s because cooking kills nutrients that the veggie withholds!) I still don’t go out of my way to eat more vegetables in their raw natural state. Not going to lie to you, salads are an easy way to do this but they definitely aren’t my favorite—but that’s mostly because it seems like the dressings that taste delicious are also the ones that are horrible for you—pretty much every dressing is bad for you, though. Low-fat is just a nice way of saying “genetically modified the shit out of this substance to remove its fat content but for the sake of flavor I added in 35 additional grams of sugar for you! Diabetes? You are most welcome.” And although I like using a blend of different oils and vinegars (typically olive oil and balsamic vinegar), my tastebuds are crying out to taste a new tune of flavors, something that makes you want to actually jump to that one 90’s “gangster” beat with some “ballers” singing “jump, jump!”.  So in my efforts to eat more raw foods but not be disgruntled by the process of it all, I decided to make my own salad dressing! Rather than going with the old faithful bed of spinach, I decided to mix it up and create a salad that I thought would best compliment the dressing.  Not to toot my own horn or anything (hey, it’s better than having an actual toot) but let me tell you, the dressing is fabulous and the salad was faboosh!

Mouth Party Salad UnDressing

INGREDIENTS:

  • ¼ cup sirracha (**for those of you unfamiliar with sirracha, it is a spicy liquid condiment–I like the spice so you may want to use more or less or just omit it in its entirety**)
  • ¼ cup lemon juice
  • 2 tbsp. Pear-infused vinegar (i just wanted to use this because ive had it in my kitchen for a while and thought it’d be a good contrast with the spice of the sirracha…it worked out very well but im sure you could use any other type of vinegar too. I think that apple cider vinegar would’ve also worked well.)
  • 1 tsp. of pink salt
  • 1 tsp black pepper
  • 1/8 cup of herbs de provence (basil, rosemary, or parsley might be good substitutions!)
  • 2 heaping tbsp. Olive oil
  • 2 tbsp. Vegenaise (I have the plain flavor of Vegenaise (which is spelled right apparently–I did some Google hunting because it was driving me nuts!) but I recommend purchasing the Grapeseed Oil Vegenaise  if you don’t already have anything on hand—it’s supposedly better nutritionally speaking.Image

    Check out this citrus measuring cup I got–I like it because I don’t have to worry about picking out the seeds or flesh later, but I did keep the flesh and added it to my dressing :).

Very Difficult To Follow Instructions:

  1. Pour all of the ingredients in a bowl and combine with a whisk. I was worried about the Veganaese curdling or separating so I added that in last, but I don’t think it really matters because the oil separates from it anyway so you always have to shake it up before glazing it on the salad.

    dressing

I got my salad dressing bottle from the dollar store and the funnel from Target (I think)—if you have some Tupperware around though that will work just fine. Grab aspoon to ladle it on!

dressingpour

Now that we’re done with the deliciouso dressing, let’s check out contestant number two, the salad…!

Bermuda, Bahamas, Come on Pretty Mama’s Salad

(The title is what it is just because I can.)

 INGREDIENTS:

  • 2 kale leaves (removed from stem)
  • 2 swiss chard leaves (removed from stem)
  • bed of spinach (about 1-2 cups roughly)
  • 1 sundried tomato slice cut or chopped up
  • 1 medium-sized carrot sliced rings
  • 5-8 red grapes with each grape cut in half

I was going to use strawberries instead of grapes, but if you look at the image below you can see that the berries brought along some uninvited fuzzy company. R.I.P strawberries, R.I.P. …
strawberryfail

Another Set Of Very Tough To Follow Directions:

  1. De-stem the kale leaves and de-stem the swiss chard. Place both the kale and swiss chard into a food processor (you could cut them up if you don’t have a food processor but it’s very quick at cutting up the greens and makes them into nice little bite-size pieces :))

  2. Grab spinach and place it into the plate. I just made a bed of it so that it’d cover the plate, but as a rough estimate I probably used about 1-2 cups of spinach.
  3. Put the kale and swiss chard on top of the spinach. Stir it up a little bit.
  4. Cut up the sundried tomato slice into smaller chunks and sprinkle on the salad.
  5. Cut up as many or as little ring slices of a carrot and spread that around your beautimous salad dish.
  6. Take 5-8 red grapes and cut each grape in half. Place on top of salad.
  7. Drizzle the salad dressing and enjoy the fruits of your labor.

salad1

salad2

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